don't get conchy: the conch salad fail

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does anyone have any tips about how to make fresh conch salad? Caught this conch and had it skinned by a Bahamian professional, hammered it using a few bottles of Bulleit Bourbon to tenderize and then it didn't go very well. I didn't have internet access, so I couldn't do my usual food research and trusted that I could wing it.

No such luck.

Does anyone have any thoughts on the best conch in Miami? Where can I find someone to teach me the ways of the mysterious conch prep? Suggestions super welcome. 

SIDE NOTE: If you missed our post on Afrohead, a new Bahamian based rum company with the best darn rum we ever tasted, now would be a good time to catch up on your reading.