the florida avocado and a mean girls metaphor

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the Florida avocado is kind of the Janice Ian to the Hass, the Regina George of avocados. That is to say, it's bigger, a little clumsier and perhaps a little harder to work with than the slim, cute, trendy Californian Hass, but that doesn't mean it's not secretly better. 

I'm not going to rant about avocados for too long over here, but I thought if anything could lure someone into a boring talk about healthy foods, it's a Mean Girls metaphor. 

All I really have to say is don't overlook the Florida avocado. Our local variety is not only freakin' gigantic compared to the tiny Californian Hass, but it's creamier. They're just different guys. That's all. Try blending some into a smoothie to add a creamy, yogurt like texture without the dairy. Roast some squash and toss it all into a salad with some nice bitter arugula. Mix some cilantro, avocado, onion and lime for an impromptu salsa. 

You can't sit with us.